“Put your own oxygen mask on first” is a familiar leadership metaphor: pay attention to your own capacity while taking responsibility for others. It can be a useful reminder, but it is not a scientific leadership theory or a guarantee of better results.
The practical question is not whether your needs always come first. It is how to organize work so that supporting the team does not depend on one person being endlessly available.
Use the metaphor without stretching it
A metaphor simplifies. Real leadership involves competing responsibilities, unequal authority and decisions that affect other people. Taking time away without arranging necessary cover can simply move an unreasonable burden onto someone else.
Use the image as a prompt to review capacity, support and continuity—not as a rule that settles every difficult choice. This article is about business practice, not aviation safety or health treatment.
Identify where you have become the only route
List the work that stops when you are unavailable. Is that dependency necessary, or does it exist because information, authority or training has not been shared?
- Which routine approvals could have clear rules and a named owner?
- Which decisions genuinely require your judgment?
- Who provides cover, and do they have time and authority?
- What information would help someone act without chasing you?
- Which commitments should be reduced if adequate cover is not available?
Our delegation guide provides a structure for agreeing responsibilities rather than merely forwarding tasks.
Make availability predictable
Explain when you review routine requests and how urgent matters should be raised. Define urgency in terms of the work’s actual risks and responsibilities, not the sender’s preference for an immediate reply.
In a hypothetical service business, a manager’s day off repeatedly becomes a day of answering routine questions. The team could document common decisions, agree a backup and identify the exceptions that need escalation. Before trying this, they would check the backup’s capacity and any customer or safety obligations.
The review should ask whether the arrangement works for everyone affected. Fewer messages to the manager is not a success if customers are ignored or another employee becomes overloaded.
Apply the same consideration to your team
A leader who protects their own time but routinely interrupts everyone else sends an inconsistent message. Review meeting schedules, response expectations and how new work is accepted. Discuss the arrangements people need without assuming identical circumstances.
Do not require staff to share private health details to participate in a workload conversation. Use appropriate workplace processes and qualified advice for health, accommodation or employment matters.
Do not turn wellbeing into a performance promise
People deserve consideration beyond what it might produce for the business. A morning routine, exercise habit or coaching programme cannot guarantee leadership effectiveness or prevent burnout.
If you are concerned about your health or ability to function, seek qualified healthcare support. Business coaching can help examine commitments and prepare work conversations; it does not diagnose or treat health conditions.
For related practical questions, read about realistic time management and burnout and appropriate support.
Choose one dependency to review
Start with a recurring situation where the business relies on your constant availability. Clarify the responsibility, identify the support needed and agree a proportionate change to test.
If you want a structured conversation about that leadership challenge, book a free 15-minute fit call. You can also apply for two weeks of free coaching. Applications are reviewed manually; acceptance and particular outcomes are not guaranteed.
